Now, nobody is perfect, and we get in arguments at times, which could lead to a very tragic event…. divorce. But are all divorce cases a negative thing? Not necessarily, but let’s just say, if everyone lived all the commandments and strove to be like Jesus Christ, there would be no divorce. Some tragic things that happen like affairs, selfishness, etc. could lead to divorce, but if both partners were willing to continue working on their relationship, they could make it work and stay together. This would just be a lot harder. Divorce creates a less ideal situation with a lack of a role model when the other parents is absent. Now according to statistics, a woman is more likely to stay married, especially if they had children because she is mainly concerned about the child’s life changing drastically. However, this isn’t always the case.
An interesting thing that many counselors are seeing relationships leading to divorce, is that they could’ve been predicted by the way they dated. If everybody dated a year doing different activities and giving the opportunity to plan and problem, solve together. You need to be able to make decisions with your partner before you think about getting married, because that is what you’ll be doing for the rest of your life. The whole success of the marriage is established at the beginning.
The best way to ensure a good marital success is religion and being active in the church because you learn certain Christ-like attributes, that will bless your relationship with your spouse and connects it with God. There are two common views of marriage; they are contractual and covenant marriages. The contractual view of marriage consists of the concept of as long as you’re doing this, I will do this. If you don’t, then I’m off the hook. The covenant view of marriage consists of each person mainly makes promises with a higher power instead of making deals with each other. Covenant with the higher power and God will set the expectations. That is how Adam and Eve were married. Let’s be honest your spouse at times will let you down so it is better to have a covenant marriage.
Another thing that can cause serious contention in a marriage is blaming and using the words “you do this” instead of using better language like “this is bothering me; how can we make this work”. It’s not about you, it’s about us. This can also be compared to an example of a wounded dog; if a dog is whining and putting its paw up, you have compassion towards that critter, but when that same dog is growling and barking at you, you don’t feel that same compassion towards that dog. When people bring blame with their pain, Instinctively the other person will go in defense mode. You must be able to talk about these things even in difficulty and it will bring you closer together as a couple. Another problem that could create a recipe for divorce is Infidelity and talking to someone else-who could be a potential mate- about their marital problems.
A divorce isn’t just hard on the couple but also the children. When the dad leaves, there needs to be a replacement, but that stepdad can often feel like an outsider. There’s this fear that if parents come apart, kids will have to choose a parent and abandon the other. Children are much more likely to be depressed. Child usually go with their mother because they feel more attached. The mother will also be more insistent. Also, dad is always working, so the kid spends more time with mom. Not to mention, the culture will accept this better.
Generally, people perceive that in a divorce, it is the man’s fault, so the man usually is the one that moves away on average of about 400 miles away. Also, it is more likely that a woman will express her emotions more and tell her story to all the friends in the surrounding area. Women have an average of 5 people to share frustrating things, the husband usually just goes to his wife.
This will be my final blog, thanks to all those who took the time to read them, and I hope I helped answer any question y’all had. Take care and God bless you.
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